Life as Amber knows it

In February 2010, I received a Kindle as an anniversary gift. A long-time book junkie, the Kindle was the most perfect gift anyone could give me. A suggestion from Amazon.com led me to reading a book by John Locke that was so entertaining, I was compelled to write the author and tell him how much I enjoyed it. And he answered the email, and suggested I follow him on Twitter. Which I did, a bit reluctantly. I mean, what in the world was I going to do with Twitter? Not long after, I tweeted a congratulations to Locke for hitting a milestone with his work, and a few Indie Authors followed me. Which led me to wonder, “Who are these people?” Checking out their Twitter profiles showed me they were in fact Indie Authors. And checking out their product pages on Amazon led me to read, review and befriend Claude Bouchard, Barry Crowther and Russell Blake, all three of which began applying their boots to my backside when I mentioned I had been writing a book for several years about being adopted. Claude Bouchard has always very kindle read my work when I’ve asked him for his opinion, and has gained super-star status in my house as being the “Get-It Man!” for his cover of U2’s Desire, a video that when set on repeat, is the only thing on this planet that can get my youngest two children to sit still and be completely quiet. Barry Crowther became the first person to showcase my work by guest blogging me on his website twice, and became the person who opened the door to my becoming published the first time by helping me assemble, format and market my first book. Russell Blake has inspired the hell out of me with how prolific he is, and led me to meet one of the most impacting people in my life as an Indie Author, Dionne Lister, my podcast partner in crime on TweepNation, a woman who I’m certain I was separated from at birth what with our choice in children’s names and our gigantic aversion to toes.

Over the past year, I have stated, no less than ten times on-air (both on my podcast and on others), that I’d be finished writing “Searching for Ellen” within a week. And every time, I have missed the deadline. Which has led me to realize one important fact as an Indie Author.

Unless you have a deadline imposed upon you by your boss or a publishing house: Fuck the deadline, just write, dammit.

Hanging out with a friend recently, I made the comment to him that I needed to head on home so I could work on “Searching”. To which he responded, “What, you have a deadline or something?” If there is any deadline imposed on this book I’ve been writing for over twelve years, it’s the deadline I myself have slammed down on it. And while some people thrive with writing creatively when they have a deadline looming, I’m the exact opposite. Telling myself, “It has to be done by X date” only leads me to writer’s block.

Back in October, I told myself to give it until January 2 to start the beginning of the end of “Searching”. And that was the plan. Writing this book has been very emotionally draining for me, and I’ve had to learn the art of looking closely without getting sucked into the depths of the past, a lesson I will most likely be learning until my final breath. But somewhere in early December, I felt compelled to open that word doc back up, and I found myself tapping away at my keys with no way of stopping myself. The book itself took me over, and it was all I could do to just get swept away and go with the words as they came from my soul onto the blank page. And while I finished the first draft before the deadline I had set for myself to simply write the first draft, I began the task of writing the second draft on January 2.

Every word has been a struggle for me.

Hard enough to have hurts flying up in my face as I write it, it’s even harder to write with that self-imposed deadline looming.

And maybe, I put the deadline on myself for the reason that I need an end to this. Because there was a small measure of healing that took place when I finished the first draft. There will be a larger amount of healing that takes place when I finish the second and email it to my editor.  And it’s my hope that publishing my story, putting those words out there into the universe for all to read if they so choose will heal me even more.

At the very least, I need to remember what my distant cousin Sir Winston Churchill said when it gets almost too much to bear: When you’re going through hell, keep going.

Love and light,

Amber Jerome~Norrgard

At The Window Again

 I want to wait for you at the window again

Wait to see your headlights turn

And flicker against

The path to our front door

I want to spring out

And have you pretend

To be surprised I was kneeling

At the window again

I want to see your joy

At the very fact of my life

Want to see your pride

That I’m there to draw breath

I want to wait for you at the window again

When tomorrow was thirty years away

And I only bore a single name

~Amber Jerome~Norrgard

One of my favorite unexpected bonuses of becoming an Indie Author is the friendships I’ve made. And one friendship I’m thrilled about is the one I’ve developed with Tracy James Jones over the past several months. And you can imagine the wooting I did when I discovered that Tracy is also a resident of Dallas, Texas, just like your’s truly. Recently, Tracy asked me if I’d mind giving an interview for her website. Which I happily agreed to do, and then surprised Tracy by sending back interview questions of my own. Yes, I am that evil!

Who would your guest list include for your fantasy dinner? Wendy Williams – Talk Show Hostess – because I just love her personality. Marilyn Monroe – Super Actress – so I could sing with her. Martin Luther King Jr. – Civil Rights Activist – for a whole lot of reasons I dare not explain. Theo James – Actor/Director – just so I could look at him all night before I asked him to direct and take the role (Sexy Executive) in the movie made about my book.

What year would you visit in a time machine and why?  Somewhere in the future.  Never the past.  No explanation needed.

Who would you love to have a few beers with and just bullshit? You and all the other amazing Indie Authors I’ve met in this past year.  Hey!  We get to do that this year, right?  Yay! (note, I love it when my interviewees list me as a drinking buddy!)

What is your go to movie or television show? Waiting on “Being Human” on Syfy.  I simply love that show, both UK & US versions.  Right now it’s “American Horror Story.”  Long story.

When did you start writing? I started my first diary at 13 but really got into writing in high school.  Light poetry that was all about love and everything rhymed.  In college is where the novel writing began, so needless to say, I have been writing some of everything since I was 13.  Plus, something with a teacher having the class to write the directions, with specific details, on “How To Make A Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich,” really peeked my interest.  I learned a lot about descriptive writing from that.

What book exceeded your expectations? I have never read any of the classics except for those we had to read for English class. I know – boo on me, and I really don’t like big thick books.  Just before I started “Twilight”, I picked up Stephenie Meyer’s “The Host” – 600 plus pages – and I loved every word of it.  Can hardly wait to see how they will cut it up for the movie.

Toilet paper/ paper towels: what’s the correct way to put them on the dispenser? Top sheet goes on the outside.

If you’re going on a long road trip, what drinks and snacks are you going to pack? Water, chips, and light sandwiches.

Which of your books took you the longest from starting the book to going live with the book?  “Secrets & Lies” Book 1 in the series took me close to 5 months to write.  My big brother talked me into it. Another 2 months for all the beta reviews to come in.  And nearly a year before it was finally edited correctly.  It was my first book ever to publish on Amazon and I did it wrong, but it’s all good now.

Do your characters ever show up in your dreams? “Secrets & Lies” would not let me sleep.  My characters and their stories were always on my mind to the point that I hardly slept.  (Hence my need of a good Editor). Not long after that one, all the characters started up on me again with another story to tell in book 2.  Book 3 hasn’t done that yet, so I’m waiting on the characters to share.

What made you start writing?  After singing, I think I was born to be a writer. My thoughts & dreams are full of drama.

What character have you previously written that you would love to write another book about? Bren Searcy from my “Secrets & Lies” Series.  She is the woman I have always thought of myself to be.  In a way, she is me, just in a more complete form.

 What is your morning ritual?  Coffee and quiet. My day starts shortly thereafter.

Do you have any writing quirks? I have so many things to do that I don’t have time for quirks, unless growling at people for interrupting during my writing time is considered one.

What do you think of books turned into movies? Love them.  Even if they don’t tell the whole story from the book, I usually enjoy seeing the characters acted out in film.  Just seems to clarify things for me.

If you were going to a deserted island, what three items would you take with you?  I can’t go anywhere without my laptop and cell phone.  All else I would need is food and water.

Name 3 books on your to-be-read list. “Identity” by Ted Dekker (Fantastic Traditional Publishing Author), “Sanctum Retribution” by Edenmary Black (Amazing Indie Author),  and “A Splash of Hope” by Charity Parkerson (Super-talented and Amazing Indie Author).

Best thing about where you live? I’m grumpy about living in Dallas right now because I miss my hometown, Waxahachie, Texas.

What book could you read over and over? Not sure.  I have a lot of books and I love them all.

Who is your favorite band or musician? I’m really into the band “Fun” right now for some reason. Adele & Katy Perry too.

What book do you think is a necessary read? Personally – The book of Psalms.  For me, there is a lot of peace and comfort in those verses. Our country, our world, really needs to find some of that right about now.

All about Tracy and her bad-ass self:

I am a blogger, reviewer, writer, former actor & artist, with much love for books, film, music, and open-minded, friendly people. :o) I write true-to-life like stories, novels & screenplays with real characters set in realistic human situations. In terms of genre, I write interracial multicultural romantic drama with a GLBT twist.

Blog

Amazon’s Author Page   

Smashword’s Author Page

Facebook

Twitter

Goodreads

Wattpad

Lots O’ loves!

~Amber Jerome~Norrgard

Nevermind

You’ll slip and you’ll slide…
…nevermind.
You’ll move onward from me…
…nevermind.
All the love I have given…
…nevermind.
All the love I will give, could give…
…nevermind.
What I gave…
…nevermind.
Can we talk…
…nevermind.
All I know is you’re gone…
…nevermind.
And…
…nevermind.

~Amber Jerome~Norrgard

If you listen to TweepNation, the podcast I do every week with the awesome Dionne Lister, you already know how I feel about Days of the Week.  *AHEM* I mean, MOTHER FUCKING Days of the Week…. I hate them. I hate going to the website to pull them up and write them down in my handy dandy pimptastic TweepNation with Amber and Dionne show liner notebook. But I do them because our listeners love them. And because it brings Dionne so much joy to give me hell and push my tantrum button.

But the number one reason I do them? And the reason I will continue doing them week after week (well, not this week, because I get a break since its my birthday… Raise the roof ya’ll!), is for one person. And this person is so fucking incredible, and my life was truly blessed the day she tweeted her way into my heart and soul forever.

Roses for the wonderful Staury!

Staury Papadopoulou,  I’m talkin’ about you, you bright, beautiful, wonderful, supportive, amazing blessing in my, and countless other Indie Author’s lives. Not a day, and I mean not ONE SINGLE DAY goes by without Stuary taking the time to not only retweet my  links, but with her taking the time to write tweets to promote me, my work, and my podcast. And to drop me a few kind words to tell me that I and my life matters to her. And I’m not the only one she does it for.

The only thing I’d change about this wonderful, kind and beautiful soul? Well, there’s two: the first is she’d live closer. The second? That she would have let me send her autographed copies of my books instead of purchasing them. Yes, I’m tsking and shaking my index finger at you Staury.

So back to the point of this blog post. I loathe Days of the Week. But since I’m doing them, I’m going to take a negative and turn it into a positive. I’m going to use the power of my blog, my mouth, and the power of my voice on the TweepNation Podcast, and I’m creating my own frickin’ day of the week.

Say Helllllllooooooo to Staury Day! January 17, every year from now on, is officially Staury Day. Why? Did you not read the start of this blog? Okay fine, you skipped ahead. Brats. Staury is awesome, that’s why. And such extreme awesomeness needs to be celebrated as much as possible.

So join me in celebrating such a wonderful and amazing person. My life would be significantly less sparkly and shiny and warm without Staury in it.

Let’s rock our biggest supporter’s world like she’s rocked ours!

I love you, Staury. Thank you so much for all you do in being my friend, my reader, and my biggest supporter. I truly was blessed the day you tweeted your way into my life.

High fives, huggles, and ass smacks, ya’ll!

Amber Jerome~Norrgard

Here’s a sneak peak of one of the short stories in a to-be-named collection I’ll be releasing in the near future….

“Don’t go. Just… Can’t we just say ‘fuck it’? Can’t we just learn to heal together?” His eyes are double pools of cerulean blue about to overspill the tears that are forming, his hands are gripping hers in his.

“No. I just can’t.”

If she’d of been anyone else, she would have only taken her hands from him to better be able to encircle him in her arms.

Instead, she takes her hands from him and walks away.

With my thirty-sixth (#FacePalm!!!!) birthday coming up fast, it’s time for my yearly post on what I’ve learned.

1.) There is absolutely no way I can take a person who dresses their pets in a far better wardrobe than I myself wear seriously. Is it the fluffy pink angora sweaters? Is it the designer boots? The trendy handbags for the pooches that makes me want to stab myself in the eye? Who knows. All I know is if I find out a person dresses their dog up all poo-poo-shee-shee, I’m going to lose any respect I might have had for them

2.) I loath people who cannot be kind to wait staff. Guess what? That waiter or waitress that you disdain so cruely? They’re busting their ass so YOUR lazy ass doesn’t have to make your own dinner or coffee.

3.) NEVER trust a person who doesn’t enjoy reading.

4.) The only difference between a person with a tattoo and a person without one is the person with the tattoo doesn’t care that you don’t have one.

5.) Temper your words to those you love and who love you. You have no idea how much of an impact they might have on a person.

6.) Sometimes, all that’s needed is someone to say to us, “It’s okay to hurt,” to make us feel better.

7.) There are going to be times in life where it seems like everything is going in the crapper. All you can do is hold on, grit your teeth, and fight through it and remember that even though it doesn’t seem like it, there’s a reason for everything.

8.) The best experiences of my life have often taken place in an uncomfortable chair with a mug of coffee present.

9.) I don’t mind getting older. I wouldn’t ever want to go back to my life at age 25. I’d love to go back to my body at age 25 though.

10.) You never know absolutely everything that is going on in a person’s life. Their long time relationship might be ending, they could have recently lost someone they love, they might be facing health issues.

11.) When planning your evil revenge, be certain to have a few Indie Author friends at your back. We’ve got some very twisted ways to torture people. (Yes, this one is a shout out to the lovely Charity Parkerson, who I am VERY happy to say has my back)

12.) A good friend will talk you through your ups and downs. A great friend will say, “Sure, I’ll delete your internet history if you die,” without asking any questions. These friends are also known as other erotica writers.

13.) If someone tells you to be ready at a certain time and don’t ask questions, just assume you’re about to have one hell of a memorable day.

14.) No body knows what the hell they’re doing. We’re all just winging it. But we’re all excellent at making it seem like we know what the hell we’re doing.

15.) Shorts that are wider than they are long are shorts that need to be re-thought.

16.) God Bless Twitter, Facebook, and Skype. You have brought me the most incredible friendships of my life.

17.) People misinterpret the word “love”. I can state that my gay male friend is a great love of my life, and everyone says, “awwww!” If I say that about my straight male friend, everyone asks me when we’re getting married.

18.) The quickest way to lose me is to try to change me. I am who I am due to nature, and due to the experiences in my life. Accept me as is, or live without me in your life.

19.) I don’t care how bad ass you are: There’s nothing that can bring you to your knees or make you beam with joy faster than a two-year-old looking you deep in your eyes and saying, “I love you.”

20.) Consequently, there’s nothing that can break your heart more than when the same two year old says, “I hate you!”

21.) I didn’t choose to become a Stay-At-Home-Mom because my mother did it or because that’s what all my friends were doing (which they weren’t, actaully). I chose to stay at home because I wanted to. And my job is way cooler than yours because I get to wear my pj’s to work, color, and play with play-doh all day. Not to mention the never ending supply of juice boxes.

22.) Children are filled with joy because they allow themselves to throw temper tantrums. Something to think about folks.

23.) Some people never grow out of the need to bring other people down to make themselves feel better.

24.) A person who bails on you at the last minute for no real reason isn’t a person you can trust.

25.) Some hurts never completely heal. But with enough time and enough of the right kind of love, they can ease.

26.) I absolutely cannot tolerate lying of any kind. When I find out someone has lied to me, or as given me a half-truth rather than the whole, I find it impossible to trust them ever again.

27.) Fertility treatments suck. Surgery to treat infertility issues sucks, as does the recovery period and the scars I have on my abdomen. Nine months of morning sickness and insomnia sucks. Giving birth to my son after my epidural wore off REALLY sucked. Postpartum depression and anxiety sucked. And yet, I’d of gone through much worse to have been blessed with my three children.

28.) Do not EVER assume a woman is pregnant until she says to you, “Hey, I’m pregnant!”

29.) I sometimes wonder if my TweepNation Podcast partner Dionne Lister and I are in a one-up competition to see who can gross the other one out more on-air. Then I realize I’m having too much fun to give a shit if we are.

30.) There is nothing and I mean NOTHING more hilarious than a story about a Gigantic Metal Chicken.

31.) Breakfast for dinner tastes better than at any other time during the day.

32.) Kids, pay attention to this one: your mom didn’t make you pancakes for dinner because she loves you, she made you pancakes for dinner because she wanted to eat them.

33.) It is very much a reality that you can love some one very much and hate them very much simultaneously.

34.) Always say goodbye to someone as if it is the last time you’ll say those words. Because for all you know, it might actually be the last time you get to say those words.

35.) If you love someone, tell them. Don’t be a wuss. There’s nothing to be gained by hiding your feelings, other than the possibility someone you care about deeply thinking they do not matter a bit to you.

36.) And naturally, of course, I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.

Lots of love, and if anyone has padding for all the spankings I’ll be getting this year, please, send it my way!

~Amber Jerome~Norrgard

Tonight, attempting to take a break from a very emotionally draining work in progress, I googled my professional name.  The usual returns came back: My website, my two podcasts, my amazon and smashwords author pages, a few interviews I’ve given, and some reviews I’ve written as well as blog swaps.

What surprised me were the ten links I found to separate pinterest pages with my books pinned, and no less than six links to blogs where my books have been reviewed and I had no idea of any of them.

After I posted it on facebook and sent an “OMFG!!!!” email to a friend, I sat down to write this post.

Oh. My. FUCKING. God! Seriously!!!!  Thank you thank you thank you!

But why, oh why, you awesome people who have promoted me in such a wonderful and favorable way not told me? I feel almost rude because I had no idea, and had I any idea you had taken the time to read me and then to post about it? I would have said “Thank You” for your time and your support. I would have found some way to bring you a homemade cake or at least offered to take you out for coffee. Because as an Indie Author? We’re nothing without our readers. We don’t do it for the paycheck, because believe me, in a year of being an Indie Author? I didn’t earn enough to claim the amount on taxes. We do it to touch our readers, to reach people. And when we receive a review or a star rating, when someone takes the time to retweet us on twitter, or write about our work on their blogs? There’s no greater compliment.

I myself, a looonnnngggggg time reader have made three very significant, very impacting friendships (you know who you are) that started when I emailed or tweeted to the author to say, “Hey, really loved your work… I’ve posted a review”. Which led to us bantering back and forth. Which led to friendships I don’t know how I would have survived the last tumultuous year of my life without.

So please, if you put in the time and effort to promote an author you love? TELL US!

I’m off to go place thank you comments on the blogs and pages of the people who were kind enough to promote me in such an awesome way. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has supported me, and other Indie Authors, by reviewing us and pinning our books to their pinterest boards. Had I known? I would have said thank you personally immediately!

~Amber Jerome~Norrgard

I’m currently in the second draft stage of “Searching for Ellen”, the memoir about my search for my biological mother.

It’s also my own personalized version of hell.

Take a moment and think back on one of the worst experiences of your life. Generally, we get through these hard times, and we don’t have to go back to them, we don’t have to relive them. But think about that experience you went through. Then think of how you would feel if you had to go back to it, reading then re-reading journal entries and emails about it, and then write about it, not once, not twice, but what will most likely be a total of three times, if not more.

The search its self? That was mildly painful: I felt very isolated because I knew so few people who had been through the experience of being the adoptee in a closed adoption case who then searched for their biological family. There was the frustration of not getting anywhere in my search. And then the anxieties associated with making that first phone call.

But what is so very hard for me now is not so much telling the story of searching, but instead having to be back in the mindset of the twenty-three and twenty-four year old me. I don’t go into deep details, and I won’t here either, about my first marriage. But in writing this book, I am put back in the life I lived just over ten years ago: A frail young girl, dangerously underweight, who spent most of her time afraid. Afraid of the man she was married to, and afraid of never being able to escape a painful, abusive, and humiliating marriage. I left my first marriage thirty pounds under weight with ten cents in my pocket, bruises, broken ribs and a mouth full of wrecked teeth. If not for family and friends putting their foot down and giving me the ultimatum of “This stops now”, I’d still be in that marriage.

You can think that you have healed from old hurts. You can think that the nightmare days of a painful past are behind you. But in writing “Searching”, I have been forced to put myself back in those days. Back in a life where I was fearful of everything.

The best I can do right now is work through it, grit my teeth and hold on tight and let the tears come. But it is very isolating and hard and painful to be back in that place of fear and loneliness again, even if its just a short visit through my re-reading my old journals. I’m hoping like hell that once this book has been written, those old hurts will finally heal and be put to rest.

~Amber Jerome~Norrgard