Life as Amber knows it

"An adventure in the making…"

Daily Archives: January 7, 2013

Huh?

Tonight, attempting to take a break from a very emotionally draining work in progress, I googled my professional name. ┬áThe usual returns came back: My website, my two podcasts, my amazon and smashwords author pages, a few interviews I’ve given, and some reviews I’ve written as well as blog swaps.

What surprised me were the ten links I found to separate pinterest pages with my books pinned, and no less than six links to blogs where my books have been reviewed and I had no idea of any of them.

After I posted it on facebook and sent an “OMFG!!!!” email to a friend, I sat down to write this post.

Oh. My. FUCKING. God! Seriously!!!!  Thank you thank you thank you!

But why, oh why, you awesome people who have promoted me in such a wonderful and favorable way not told me? I feel almost rude because I had no idea, and had I any idea you had taken the time to read me and then to post about it? I would have said “Thank You” for your time and your support. I would have found some way to bring you a homemade cake or at least offered to take you out for coffee. Because as an Indie Author? We’re nothing without our readers. We don’t do it for the paycheck, because believe me, in a year of being an Indie Author? I didn’t earn enough to claim the amount on taxes. We do it to touch our readers, to reach people. And when we receive a review or a star rating, when someone takes the time to retweet us on twitter, or write about our work on their blogs? There’s no greater compliment.

I myself, a looonnnngggggg time reader have made three very significant, very impacting friendships (you know who you are) that started when I emailed or tweeted to the author to say, “Hey, really loved your work… I’ve posted a review”. Which led to us bantering back and forth. Which led to friendships I don’t know how I would have survived the last tumultuous year of my life without.

So please, if you put in the time and effort to promote an author you love? TELL US!

I’m off to go place thank you comments on the blogs and pages of the people who were kind enough to promote me in such an awesome way. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has supported me, and other Indie Authors, by reviewing us and pinning our books to their pinterest boards. Had I known? I would have said thank you personally immediately!

~Amber Jerome~Norrgard

 

What it feels like…

I’m currently in the second draft stage of “Searching for Ellen”, the memoir about my search for my biological mother.

It’s also my own personalized version of hell.

Take a moment and think back on one of the worst experiences of your life. Generally, we get through these hard times, and we don’t have to go back to them, we don’t have to relive them. But think about that experience you went through. Then think of how you would feel if you had to go back to it, reading then re-reading journal entries and emails about it, and then write about it, not once, not twice, but what will most likely be a total of three times, if not more.

The search its self? That was mildly painful: I felt very isolated because I knew so few people who had been through the experience of being the adoptee in a closed adoption case who then searched for their biological family. There was the frustration of not getting anywhere in my search. And then the anxieties associated with making that first phone call.

But what is so very hard for me now is not so much telling the story of searching, but instead having to be back in the mindset of the twenty-three and twenty-four year old me. I don’t go into deep details, and I won’t here either, about my first marriage. But in writing this book, I am put back in the life I lived just over ten years ago: A frail young girl, dangerously underweight, who spent most of her time afraid. Afraid of the man she was married to, and afraid of never being able to escape a painful, abusive, and humiliating marriage. I left my first marriage thirty pounds under weight with ten cents in my pocket, bruises, broken ribs and a mouth full of wrecked teeth. If not for family and friends putting their foot down and giving me the ultimatum of “This stops now”, I’d still be in that marriage.

You can think that you have healed from old hurts. You can think that the nightmare days of a painful past are behind you. But in writing “Searching”, I have been forced to put myself back in those days. Back in a life where I was fearful of everything.

The best I can do right now is work through it, grit my teeth and hold on tight and let the tears come. But it is very isolating and hard and painful to be back in that place of fear and loneliness again, even if its just a short visit through my re-reading my old journals. I’m hoping like hell that once this book has been written, those old hurts will finally heal and be put to rest.

 

~Amber Jerome~Norrgard

 

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